Knowing what you want!
Posted - December 11th, 2013
I believe I have fulfilled my dream.
For many years now I have recognized what I wanted when I saw it.
Going on holidays in the sun, on leaving, I always acknowledged that someday ‘I want this‘! In other words not right now, but sometime in the future this is how I want to live.
In the last few years that voice in my head got stronger and stronger. I soon realized that i wanted it NOW and not in the future!
I always believed that I am guided and protected, that somehow, when the time is right everything in my life will line up and through instant choices I make then it happens! That was my belief.
This is exactly how it happened!
It was like a game of chess, bit by bit the pieces lined up. I had asked for it to happen, I believed it would happen and in the perfect time and it did happen.
No, it wasn’t handed to me on a plate with a bow! It consisted of making a lot of decisions, finding somewhere to live, booking a flight, saying goodbye to friends and family and giving up ALL the payoffs.
What were the payoffs? Security in my business which was doing very well in Ireland, living full time with my husband, leaving a very good social network of close friends and family that had always been a great support to me in my life, and last but certainly not least giving up my dog of 18 years to a family member and saying goodbye to my home of the past 20 years where I raised my family to other people.
It all began at the beginning of 2012 when my fist son left home to move to Canada aged just 20. Then exactly a year later my other son also left home in early 2013 having finished college. My beautiful mother had passed away on her 95th birthday. I was working way too hard and somehow wanted/needed everything to STOP and I had a major car crash then.
I remember every nano second of my car spiraling out of control on the oily wet motorway on the way into Dublin City. I remember asking in my head “Am I going to die now”? And I heard a resounding NO!
I never felt so embraced, so safe, as my car spun round and round out of control almost as if in slow motion. I remember bracing myself for the impact to come and as it did my car bounced away from the barrier it had hit and came to a sudden stop.
Dazed I sat there asking myself “What did I do to cause this”? It felt like hours later when the motorist behind me opened my door and asked if I was alright. Incredulously, I answered yes and slowly unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of my car wreck. The motorist confirmed my belief that I appeared to be driving safely when my car went into a slide and spun out of control on the oily surface. That and my mothers death only six days later was the icing on my awakening.
For the next week following the crash I sat at my mothers bedside and watched her die ever so slowly. It was cruel both for her and for us her family to watch her life slowly ebb away as she passed away on her 95th birthday on 31st August, 2012.
But afterwards despite my grief I felt my freedom, from the responsibilities of daughter-hood and motherhood, two roles so close to my heart. But now the universe appeared to be telling me “Its is your time“! Do as you will.
Confusion set in as I love my husband of 28 years and love our dog of 18 years who is like another child to me. But the voice within me said urgently now now now!
By Feb/March 2013 I knew the time had come, at the end of March after an emotional going away party with family and a few very close friends, we packed up our house and for the first time in my life I left home alone to travel to my new home. Now I was facing one of my biggest fears of living alone and in a strange new country. My husband supported my decision completely and vowed to spend as much time with me as possible.
I had planned to fly to Ireland one week a month to keep my business going and work online the rest of the month. So with lots of blessing, hugs and kisses and tears I left my native land to live in a little island off the coast of Africa.
As it turned out it was the best and most difficult decision I have ever made!
There were times I asked myself “Did I die in that car crash, because this must be heaven!
The natural beauty surrounding my new home has had a tremendous affect on me. Turquoise sea, warm winds golden sands and the warm and sensuous energy from the joyful South American friends that now fill my new life here in Lanzarote. However the change was like a birthing into a new life and so there was also pain..
The loneliness of separation from my husband that daily Skype calls did not quell. The feelings of isolation from living in a community where I did not speak the language, missing my friends and familiarity of home.
However the rewards were there also, when I opened my shutters in the morning seeing the beauty of the sun sparkling on the sea and now new friendships are developing in my life here and I am studying the language.
Now, nine months on my husband spends more time here than in Ireland and life is good.The change has had a good affect on our relationship as I see a peace and contentment in my husband I have rarely witnessed in the past. Big changes in life can act like a pebble in a still pond, it can take time for the ripples to dissipate.
What I have learnt from this major life change is that my intuition is ALWAYS right. That life IS what you make it! That having the courage to let go of the payoffs is the path to true fulfillment. Being prepared to go through the labour and re birthing into a new life is key to fulfilling your dream.
Now I continue to train our wonderful life coaches both in Ireland and online. I organise and run Wellness Retreat Holidays here in Lanzarote. I enjoy online Life Coaching for people not just in Ireland but worldwide! And I do a little therapy work in the local community here so I feel more a part of this village life. I will continue to give some workshops in Ireland every year and I am very excited about the new online tele-courses that I have developed and are booking. Life is good and continues to challenge me so I never get bored 🙂 I have slowed down and have a better work life balance and have returned to writing which I love so you will be reading a lot more blog posts from me from now on.
Now its your turn…. What do YOU want ? What is YOUR dream ?
Let me coach you into making your dreams come true!
Contact me now at email@example.com if you would like to arrange a FREE skype to discuss your needs around coaching and what would work best for you.